Open Letter to Those Who Judge Singles

Challenge stereotypes about singlehood. People stay single for personal growth, diverse goals, and to break societal norms. Embrace the freedom to choose your relationship path.

Open Letter to Those Who Judge Singles

Repeat after us – there is no ‘right’ age to be in a committed relationship. It is OK to be single. At. Any. Age.

You are in a relationship. Healthy or otherwise. Do you find yourself making such comments?

1) Why are you single? You are smart, there is nothing wrong with you. You must feel lonely!

2) Being divorced must be so difficult!

3) Live in?! You must have low morals, this is against Indian culture.

If so, this letter is for you.

A single person is generally seen as desperate or frustrated, their relationship status mocked or questioned– especially if they are looking for a partner online.

Additionally, if they’ve had a failed relationship in the past they end up carrying that baggage with them into future interactions. Too often, people are introduced to prospective matches by bringing unnecessary attention to their current relationship status. For example: “Meet Nikita. She’s divorced BUT a wonderful person.” or,  “This is Abhay. He is a divorcee with a child BUT a real go-getter.” Really!

We wonder whether you’d like to be introduced as – “This is Sima. She’s married and has two kids BUT is a golf pro.” Or – “Meet Jagdish. He’s in a committed long-term relationship BUT so creative.” Get the drift? Not very appealing, is it?

Many people look for love, crave that cuddle, or search for that companionship with ‘The One’. Some lucky people even find it! On the other hand, there also exist people who stay in unhealthy relationships – be it for financial security, because they are terrified of being alone or fear being labeled. We don’t judge them.

So if you struggle to see why someone would voluntarily remain single, let us make one thing clear – It is NOT for lack of opportunities or options. Allow us to share a few existential reasons which might help you broaden your perspective:

People stay single because they are aware that a meaningful relationship requires commitment and work, a responsibility they don’t feel ready to take on

People are single because they have other life goals or priorities which they find more important than being in a relationship at this point in time

People are single because they may be in a space of introspection and self-growth following an earlier relationship that did not work out

People stay single because they are fed up of being stigmatized or ostracized because of their darker complexion or body shamed for their figure

People stay single because they want to be in a same-sex relationship which is yet not acceptable among many Indian families

Repeat after us: There is no ‘right’ age to be in a committed relationship. It is OK to be single. At. Any. Age.

People are single because they want to be single.

We hope that this letter helps you reflect on any instances you’ve looked at us with pity or a raised eyebrow. We do not label You. So please stop labeling Us.


Tribe of Singles