What does an Urban Indian woman in her 20’s seek from a relationship
Garima shares her thoughts…
The urban women in the present times are independent and confident. We are the perfect combination of sensitive and ambitious, bold and gracious, strong and supportive, fierce and kind, practical, and emotional. We indeed are traditionally modern. Hence, we expect and dream to have someone by our side who can be our companion at all steps and in all the situations.
For any urban woman to find a guy of her dreams seems like a dream indeed. Finding the one who is compatible with us at all levels and the one who ticks off most of the points in our list is at times difficult. (No matter how much we deny, we all have a list mentioning all the qualities which we wish to have in our partner/relationship). It seems like a treasure hunt and even more challenging than the reality show’s tasks.
However, on the whole, and roundabout, speaking on behalf of all the urban women out there, I believe we seek a relationship which has/should be SURE (space I understanding I respect I effective communication), TLC and ABS (acceptance I balance I support)):-
1. Space- It is important that the couple gives space to each other and accepts the fact that we both have our individual lives which require some portion of our time. Hence, being in touch constantly (24/7) is passé. Urban relationships require space in all aspects. (Be it digital, emotional or physical). Restricting each other will end up destroying the relation as it is something that no one can handle in the present times.
2. Understanding- Our partner should be able to understand the fact that our professional work and life are equally important. Managing it with our personal life can be tough. Additionally, both parties need to understand that they have to maintain their respective social circles and there is life beyond relationship too.
3. Respect- This is something which is one of the basic yet important things in a bond. Respect both in terms of words and actions is essential to maintain a healthy relationship.
4. Effective Communication- Effective communication (it has to be a dialogue) is important to avoid any misunderstandings. In the digital era, where constant conversations are happening, keeping each other in the loop and sharing the good and the bad is a prerequisite. Additionally, it should be clear that what the guy expects from us and the relationship. This will help us to analyze how compatible are we and will help us to drive the relationship accordingly. It also helps keep the relationship to be easy going as amidst the work stress and the fast-paced life, a toxic relationship just adds on to the troubles.
5. TLC- Our relationship needs TLC too-Trust, Love, Care. Though they are the basic requirements but still wither away if the relationship is not taken care of properly. Our partners should be able to trust us that we will be loyal; they should love us and should be caring and compassionate towards us.
6. Acceptance- No one is perfect. Hence, accepting each other’s differences, be it in one’s nature, thought process, lifestyle, culture, etc. is critical. In a lack of acceptance, the relationship can suffer many irreversible damages. He/she should be a good friend first in order to become our partner.
7. Balance and Support- Balancing between the world and us are important. To add to it, the relation should be balanced too. While at one point, we have a child-like fun and tease each other, at the next instant, we should be standing with each other like a rock and a partner. The relationship should be worth all the efforts, time, nurturing, and patience put into its working. The couple’s collaborative initiatives will help maintain the balance. In turn, the balanced relationship will help us support each other at the individual level. Be it emotional or logical, it is essential to have each other’s back in all the minor and major decisions of life.
There is a thin line difference between caring and possessiveness, love and insecurity, trust, and jealousy. While a considerable amount of every emotion is important to have a healthy and lasting relation, anything in excess can overturn the relationship completely.
If we, the urban females, expect these qualities/traits in our relationships, then, we will extend and exhibit the same too. This goes without saying that no relationship is a one-way street. To ensure that the bond is strong and loving, the couple needs to work together as a team.
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