Unconditional Help

What happens when you stop trying to *fix* your life? What happens when one owns up one's flaws as simply a part of the learning process and moves on by embracing what life offers? What happens to the relationships that have seen / known you in a particular role and cannot accept the new you?
When I embarked on my true healing journey a few years ago, I was dismayed to find so many people, both friends and relatives whom I had considered close to me, slowly but surely withdraw from my life!! Over time, I lost a lot of people in this process.

   When you live your life in accordance with rules sanctioned by society, merely pretending to be happy, you will have different kinds of people lounging near you in the guise of siblings / friends / relatives. When you drop the pretense of happiness, they would all throng closer, trying to "fix" your life, in their own way, even, and esp. if your life is unconventional in any manner! But the moment they find you happy... esp. while living an unconventional life... all hell breaks loose!

   No doubt, there are some exceptions... However, there is always this curiosity to compare and benchmark one's life with that of another. Yes, some stick around during the terrible times, but their support is based on conditions! Many a times one gets disoriented in being expected to fulfil a sea of obligations that comes in the form of so called "Unconditional help".

   Once, during a conversation with Dileepan (my life partner), I understood a universal truth related to helping someone... it is not possible at all, in the way I had always seen it!

   He said, "When you see that you have both the opportunity and inclination to serve (rather than "help") someone, see that as your good fortune! Also, this should be provided with no expectation of any favour or even something as little as mere respect, in return!" This was a huge revelation to me, and gave me a whole new perspective!

   The more self-satisfied I became, the more my old relationships began to fall apart. When people realised that I don't need the support they want to give in "their way", it naturally hurt their egos, which they appeared to feel in the core of existence!!

   Slowly, but surely, they began to leave me... and by God's grace I began to understand their situation and let them be, instead of feeling either entitled or left out!!

   This clarity gave me the opportunity to enjoy my own company, and attract people who understand my space. Today I enjoy being a singer, counsellor, homemaker and mother! There is no specific fixation on any role and I do what comes naturally to me, in the spur of every moment!

   I thank my support system (my family) that has always seen this as an opportunity that I deserve, rather than a disruption to their own sense of entitlement of their needs bring pandered to!