Trust and Respect in Partnership (TRP)

Trust and Respect in Partnership (TRP)

The author of this piece is ‘a friend of andwemet’, she is a young lady in her mid-20’s who experienced challenges around trust and respect in her committed relationship of 12 months which has been sorted for now. She wanted to write this for us, thinking it may help someone experiencing the same to reflect upon their relationship.

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. — Stephen Covey

In committed relationships we depend/rely on each other to keep the love intact.

Trust and Respect are the two most important pillars that cement any relationship.

The strength of these pillars is directly proportional to the longevity of the bridge. And, as we all know, the toughest part is to keep the trust and respect intact more so in today’s time and age.

This happens when one of the two pillars start to give away due to insecurities in one’s mind raised out of situations. This happens when we are low in confidence and the partner is not around to support us. OR sometimes under certain circumstances our partners’ certain actions are not aligned with our expectations. OR there might be occasions where our partners’ habits OR our behavior differs from the traditional understanding of ‘good behavior’. It is during these times that we tend to doubt the actions and the intentions of our partner. And it is very easy to get swayed under such situations.

During such times when either one of the partner has a doubt or a question in their mind, they tend to resort to activities that are not correct and defending themselves on why they did what they did. For example, there are instances where we check our partners social media accounts without their knowledge and if the apps are password protected we doubt the partner concluding that there should be ‘no need’ of a password if there is nothing to hide”. This is when both the pillars- trust and respect start to loosen up. It is best advised never to check the partner’s phone or personal belongings without their knowledge. Doing things on the sly displays insecurity which is highly unhealthy for a committed relationship.

The best and historic way to resolve doubts is to talk, communicate but without any finger pointing. It is something extremely tough to do but is required if you want your relationship to become healthy again. It is also important for the couple to understand each other’s love language as well as and understand that both are very different people with similar values but who come with different learnings and life experiences.

If in a doubt, it is important to avoid jumping to a conclusion without a sane discussion with the realization to accept each other as they are. It is said that everything that we feel is a feeling we choose to feel. Our mind does that for us based on the way we have trained it.

Someone with over 40 years of a married life told me that it can take good 10 -15 years for the partners to completely trust each other.

Stay focused not allowing your mind to wander. Avoid doubting your partner, be patient and grow the trust.

I was recently in a flight — where I touched upon this topic with my lady co-passenger who shared the secret of her successful relationship which is patience and accepting each other’s imperfection — I plan to invest in being more accepting of my partner as well as being patient about things.

Would love to hear what do you think is the secret your successful relationship — you can comment here or send your comments to [email protected]

Trust and Respect in Partnership (TRP) was originally published in andwemet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.