To swipe or not to swipe? Article on andwemet, mature women dating website

To swipe or not to swipe? Article on andwemet, mature women dating website

Recently I was traveling by the rapid metro in Gurgaon when I saw an OOH advertising by Tinder covering the entire metro. It got me thinking about how the whole dating paradigm has drastically changed over the past decade.

Today, more than 20% of adults with smartphones are using or have used dating apps. An analogy, which was cited to me was that swiping right on a girl’s photo is the modern day, tech-enabled equivalent to approaching a girl at a bar. The good thing about this approach is that the girl can do the profile check on a guy to figure out his legitimacy, over having an interaction inebriated state with a stranger at the bar. It’s easier for guys as well as it saves from the public embarrassment, in case they are turned down. But the authenticity of a lot of profiles is questionable and also the photos can be quite different from how one looks in person (depending on the ability to photoshop and pose).

The OOH advertising was a part of the new campaign on ‘Adulting can wait’ with #swipelife. Tinder is making conscious efforts to move away from the casual dating space to position itself as empowering the young with control; to make discoveries, to meet people who open new doors, to explore a charmed life.

Other apps like Bumble are going forth in the space by celebrity endorsements and more women-centered approach. Right from the entry, it is positioning itself as a social network and not a dating app for women to connect for work, friendship and dating.

A new matchmaking platform, is started by an Indian woman with over two decades of corporate experience. It is for mid to senior level corporates above 30 and aims to weed out the unnecessary emotional investment and fake profiles associated with online matchmaking. It has a detailed questionnaire and verification of ID proofs before visibility on the platform. (Click here to sign up)

I figured out that there are three reasons as to why a girl is on a dating app. This is specific just to India, and the ‘Indian culture’. It might be different for different countries. First, the platonic networker; she is bored and needs to talk to (text) someone or even networking for better career opportunities but everything is completely platonic. Second, the societal victim; friends are getting married or are in relationships but want to ‘help’ her out as some acquaintance met the ‘perfect’ guy on an app and so get her on the app. Also, the family is pressurizing for marriage and arranged dates not working out. Third, the casual encounter; a recent breakup or existential crisis and using physical intimacy as a coping mechanism. These reasons are not mutually exclusive and a girl could be on the app for multiple reasons like seeking her ‘prince charming’ and friend-zoning the frogs.

I met people off apps and realized if one wants a substantial connection for the long run, letting it build up organically is the best way to go about it. Such apps are a great way to meet new people and then go forth with it, according to mutual interest. Given how the world has virtualized in the past decade, such apps the probably a new way for millennial's to make human connections.

Dating apps have led to an increase in casual encounters with different people. Sleeping around and then ghosting has become a lot easier because of no common thread. That being said, one of three marriages today start online. I have known people who are in healthy relationships, live-ins and have even got married off dating apps. If one looks from the Indian perspective, such apps aren’t much different from the matrimonial sites. The only difference is that there, parents do the swiping.

Like many new technologies, dating apps provoke quite a bit of hand-wringing about contemporary life. Are we too dependent on constant validation? Have we lost the ability to connect with other living, breathing humans? Or are we too busy in our work lives to actually filter through in the offline space?

These are just insights, at the end of the day it’s your personal call, to swipe or not to swipe?

To swipe or not to swipe? was originally published in andwemet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.