Dealing with parents interference in your relationship

It is a well-documented that interfering parents are among the top 3 reasons for a relationship to fail.

They may not realize that they're doing more harm than good by meddling in their child's love life. If you’re in a relationship and your parents are constantly trying to interfere, it can be frustrating and stressful.

The decision to stay in the relationship or not is up to you and your partner. If you're not ready to call it quits just yet, here are 10 situations with suggestions you can do to deal with such situations:

1. When it comes to relationships, it can be difficult to please everyone – especially when your parents and the partner do not get along. If you’re finding yourself in this situation, you’re not alone. It’s common for parents to have a say in their children’s relationships, and sometimes this interference can be tough to deal with. In such a scenario it is important to make it clear to our parents that your relationship is also a priority and they should respect that. Not everything our parents say is wise and we should make our own decisions based on our experiences.

2. If you are living with your partners parents, then you know the drill. There are going to be rules and guidelines that you need to follow, irrespective of your liking them or not.

In our culture, elders are experienced and usually right, so if you have your partner’s parents come to live with you, they are likely to implement their way of functioning which may not go well with you. In such a scenario, and to keep the sanity of all relationships, it is best to live away from parents, even if it is in the adjoining home.

By the way, your own parents are likely to behave in a similar way but there seems to be an underlying impatience for ‘in-laws’.

3. In every relationship, there are bound to be disagreements and differences of opinion. However, it is important to remember that this is normal and to be expected. What is not normal, however, is when one or both partners feel the need to involve their parents in every disagreement.

While it is understandable to want to seek guidance from our parents, it is important to remember that they are not always going to be objective. In fact, their interference can often do more harm than good. If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to stand your ground and not let your parents control your relationship.

4. It's not uncommon to find yourself in a relationship where you and your partner's parents don't see eye to eye. Perhaps they don't approve of your relationship, or they don't approve of you. Either way, it can be tough to deal with.

It's important to remember that your relationship is with your partner, not with their parents. Ultimately, the decision to stay in the relationship or not is up to you and your partner. If you're not ready to call it quits just yet, here are a few things you can do to deal with the situation.

5. Having a child is a life-changing decision. It's a decision that you and your partner should make together, without interference from your parents.

Your parents may not be able to understand your desire to have or not have a child but try to listen to their reasoning. It's important to remember that you're an adult, and you should make the decision that's best for you and your relationship.

Don't let your parents pressure you into having a child. If you're not ready, or if you don't want to have a child, then don't. It's your decision, and you should make it without any outside pressure.

6. It is also important to introspect and ask yourself whether the partner’s parents are truly wrong or if you are just sensitive as a person. If it is the latter, then it might be worth considering working on yourself with the help of a professional.

7. Don’t expect your parents to support you financially. If they do, great. But if they don’t, don’t get upset with them. This will only lead to disagreement within the couple.

8. It is perfectly normal for families to have disagreements and to not always get along. Your parents may not have the best relationship with your partner, but that does not mean you have to cut ties with them. It is important to maintain a relationship with your parents, even if they do not get along with your partner.

Your partner should not be the one to dictate who you can or cannot see. If your partner is preventing you from visiting or doing things for your parents, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. And in time your parents and the partner may someday come to accept each other.

9. It is extremely important to make conscious efforts not to bring parents in when there is disagreement between you and the partner. This is a sensitive topic because the respective parents are special to you. When you bring them in, you digress from the point of actual dispute. This will only lead to more chaos and eventually, a breakup. So, make an effort to keep them out of it.

10. Lastly you should not have to choose between your parents and your partner. Both relationships are important and should be given the time and attention they deserve. We should never forget that at the end of the day, our parents are just people too and they are not perfect. They make mistakes just like we do and we should learn to forgive them when they do.

Getting in a committed relationship means growing up and being responsible for yourself and as a couple. One needs to learn to be independently manage your issues and build your family. Quitting your relationship because of parents’ interference should be the last option. There are a lot of cultural and traditional values which are to be considered while taking any decision related to the family. In such cases, professional help can act as a rescuer.