Dark Tales!

I was the ugly duckling in our family. My dad had dark skin and I had inherited his facial features and of course the skin colour!

Around the age of 5/6, I was made to realise by every relative around me that it was absolutely WRONG to have dark skin. I was made to feel ashamed of my colour.

I used to cry to my mom and she always used to tell me that it's ok. Maybe she didn't know to make the relatives shut up! I was called Koyal, crow and anything and everything that was black in colour .

The only thing which made me feel better was...my cousin was darker than me and she shared the taunts with me. And, you won't believe..she was 2 years younger to me and did not give a damn about these comments! I clearly remember, when we went to our nani's (mother’s parents) house, all the mamas (mother’s brothers) used to gang up and make fun of our skin colour. I was the one who took it to heart! As a kid also, my cousin just didn't care about those taunts!

And when i was in 6th std, I became more conscious about the colour and badly wanted to become FAIR! I cldn't understand the obsession people had abt this. Why parents thought(moms) that a dark skinned girl won't get a good suitor for marriage?? Why do the mother in laws want ONLY a fair girl for their son???

I started my Fairness Journey with a fairness lotion, which promised 4 shades lighter in just 4 weeks. I was using it since I was 12yrs old, till almost i was 28 . I did not become that Fair as the advertisement had promised!! Major calculation error by the company!!!

Later I realised..whichever actress acted in the advertisement was already fair and it was just a marketing gimmick.

As a kid, the way I was made to feel about myself - that I'm not good enough - had a very deep impact on me as an adult too. I used to feel inferior among fair people. I used to avoid being with 'Beautiful' girls. Used to feel jealous and had also blamed my mom why she married my dad.

Let me share a secret...I had tried every single "beauty" soap brand and skin lightening and fairness promising creams till I turned 30!!! Ufff! Such a long journey. In this process of becoming fairer, what I missed to realise was that I had one of the most spot free skin, which took all the abuse that I wad doing to it...still never reacted! Such a saint my skin is.

Around that time I started my Learning journey as a Mind Coach under my teacher. He helped me understand 'What I think about myself ONLY matters and not what others think about me' 'My Self Worth is not in my looks, appearance, my education, my job or anything else...except How IMPORTANT I Feel about myself!' I learnt that it's me who has to Accept myself - however I am. Only then I can Love myself!

My teacher guided me to break the Conditioning about skin colour, which was becoming a Pattern, and create the understanding that a person cannot be judged by the external looks. It's only our Ignorance & Unawareness that makes us crazy towards having the 'Fair skin'!

Unfortunately, right from childhood girls are told that they have to be fair...to get the best groom!!! And parents unknowingly create this bias in their children's mind that Someone who has a dark skin, is not good enough. Not cool enough to be friends with.

Trust me, I have seen kids as young as 4 and 5 teasing the other girls who are dark.

We need to grow up mentally beyond such trivial things and try to look at a person for who they are.

Thanks to my teacher that my skin colour doesn't disturbs me anymore and rather I'm happy about it...because even in my 40’s there are no wrinkles!! Cool isn't it

Let's learn to Acknowledge ourselves for who we are & How we are! Appreciate ourselves for being the PERFECT creation the creator! And LOVE the masterpiece that he has created.

Only when you have accepted yourself 100% & Love yourself 10/10....you will be able to see How you can make yourself the BEST version in everything you do!

Anu is a mind coach and can be reached here