“Communication in a Committed Relationship”

“Communication in a Committed Relationship”

When we commit to an individual it creates a special bond. However, the key to making it successful is good and effective communication. It is the key when it comes to having a happy, healthy, and positive relationship. Societal bonds like engagement, marriage, and children do nothing to improve a relationship if this key ingredient is missing.

Effective communication is a connection between people that allows for the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas and leads us to mutual understanding. Having a healthy relationship can be VERBAL and NON-VERBAL. The 7–38–55 rule applies to a personal relationship as well as a professional one. The concept maps out the communication of emotions. The rule states that 7 percent of meaning is communicated through spoken word, 38 percent through tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language.

1) TRUST:- Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship can thrive. This is assumed when a commitment is made but has to be earned every day. Understand what worries your partner and work towards allaying those fears. Develop your own method. This is very essential in not just regular but also long-distance relationships. Trust helps develop a strong bedrock on which you can build a strong relationship.

2) LISTENING SKILLS:- It is often said that the biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply. The implications of superficial listening are extremely damaging and put both partners in a defensive stance which must be avoided. Listen to understand the feelings that your partner is going through.

3) Acceptance of Each Other: Accept each other as you are. Don’t force change…that never results in anything good. Read each other’s patterns and see what makes your partner thrive. Accept their quirks as much as you can. That’s the reason they are different and most probably why you fell in love in the first place.

4 ) Change what you must: If there are certain aspects of their personality that are hurtful to you then having an open honest conversation about it and letting them know about it is essential. Mind reading is a rare art. Don’t assume that your partner has it. Sit down and talk about it. Don’t hold it in. If you can, set aside an hour every month that you go on a special date night and talk about what you can improve upon. See how you can change the behaviour or understand the root cause of it so you can both work together on it to create a happy and nurturing environment for each other. It is essential that both partners give in a bit and accept a bit. That’s what we call negotiating a compromise that works for both.

5) Be each other’s champion: Your partner needs to know you are there for them and will always have their back. Be your partner’s biggest fan and strongest champion. Be the reason why they succeed and thrive as an individual. Help them grow.

6) Let them know you love them: Remember the mind-reading advice. Yes, it is rare. While it is essential you do a lot of things to show you care, it is nice to also verbalise it once in a while or show it in some physical relatable gesture. Let them know you love them. Make your partner feel important and let them know their existence makes a difference in their lives. When it matters most …chose him/ her.

7) Respect each other’s decision: When your partner makes a decision, respect it. That’s that. If you are unhappy with it, go back to point 4.

8) Giving space: While it is awesome to be in a loving relationship, everyone needs time off and personal space. Don’t let a relationship smother your individuality. Remember proximity breeds contempt. A little space is healthy for a relationship. Give each other space to do their own thing. Too much

interference can cause an obsession and there are more chances that it will destroy your relationship.

9) Ego: People usually get confused between Self-respect or Ego. There is a very fine line between it that one must walk to balance the relationship. Self-respect is a must for a healthy relationship. Ego has no place in it.

10 ) Work at it : A relationship is an ongoing project. Work at it. Every. Single. Day.

About Sahiba Sethi — she is a trained counseling psychologist. She has a Masters in Psychology from Kurukshetra University, Post Graduation in Counseling from Annamalai University, P.G Diploma in Guidance and Counseling From IGNOU. She completed an Internship from Gautam Hospital and Research Center and Research Center and has also served as a Counseling Psychologist with various schools in Jaipur for over 6 years before starting her own counseling center — Umeed Healing.

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