Closure in a relationship

The end of a relationship is never easy.

Give yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship and to adjust to the new reality.

These are 5 clear indications that you have not found closure in a relationship:

1)    Thinking about your ex and about the whats and ifs consuming your thoughts always.

2)    Wish to maintain contact with your ex during the breakup period as you fear to cut ties completely.

3)     Engaging, commenting or stalking partner’s social media. Doing this sends confusing signals to both you & the ex.

4)  Continuously questioning your own worth and blaming yourself, getting caught up in a self-destructive cycle of negative thinking.

5)    Holding onto anger and resentment towards the person who caused you pain.

Thus, it is important to take the time to process the breakup and to understand why the relationship ended. Doing so will help you move on. Here are tips that may help you find closure:

1)     When a relationship ends, it is common for both parties to want to have a conversation about what happened. Do not look for this. This can be an incredibly difficult conversation to have, there are many people who prefer to disappear from the other person’s life – known as ‘ghosting’. There's no denying that ghosting is a cowardly act. But sometimes, it's the best way to avoid an ugly confrontation. And it's not always because you're trying to be spiteful. Sometimes, people just want to spare themselves the discomfort of having to relive the relationship's end – learn to accept this.

2)     Allow yourself to go through all of the emotions you are feeling. It is okay to feel hurt, anger, and even to miss the person you were with. However, don’t allow these emotions to take over your life.

3)     You need to forgive the other person for their role in the break-up. This does not mean that you need to forget what they did, but it does mean that you need to let go of the anger and resentment you are feeling.

4)     If you find yourself constantly checking your ex’s profile or stalking their new partner, it’s time to hit the block button.  Blocking them may not be a permanent solution, but it will give you the time and space you need to heal and move on.

5)     Take some time for yourself. Focus on you and your own happiness. Don’t try to rush into another relationship just to fill the void that is left.

If you still find it tough to get a closure, seek external help counselors and therapists can help you work through the pain and confusion of a break-up and help you find ways to move on.

When a relationship ends, it can feel like your life is over. You may feel heartbroken, lost, and confused. It’s important to remember that you are not alone. Many people have gone through what you are feeling and have come out the other side.

Closure in a relationship means accepting that the relationship is over and finding a way to move on.

Remember closure is a process and not a destination.