9 Dating turnoffs: Things you should avoid

9 Dating turnoffs: Things you should avoid

We would like to thank Dr Ashlesha who helped us put them together….

You found a match on andwemet! You have chatted for a few weeks and have experienced your first face to face. The date was awesome, and everything went well. You have even fixed the date for the next one. It is an exciting time. You may be fantasizing about the future already. Hang on a second.

Fantastic first dates generally should not be taken as an indicator of the future. Both you and your match would probably be on your best behaviour, trying to make a good impression. You have not met the ‘real’ person yet. Getting to know someone takes time. If you are looking for something meaningful, it is best to take your time. As you both get more familiar with each other the ‘real’ person emerges. This can be good thing …… or not. If you are really interested in taking the relationship forward, you should be aware about some behaviours that tend to turn people off. We have made a list of the top 9 relationship turn-offs. If you catch yourself doing these things you may want to consider making some changes so you can have the relationship you deserve.

Here they are:

Turn-off 1: “My Phone is My Life” Of course you need to stay connected. We all have commitments. But when you are with someone that you would like to start or continue a relationship with, you should be giving them your full attention. If you keep checking your phone, replying to texts, or taking calls, you send the message that you are not making them a priority in that moment. The exact opposite of your true intention. So put your phone away and enjoy some quality time.

Turn-off 2: “Sorry I’m late but” We cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be punctual for your dates or any commitment you have made to them. Do not attempt to make a grand entrance. Being late is not only disrespectful of your date’s time but also can be an indication of your (in)ability to manage yours.

Turn-off 3: “I know it all” It is great to have an opinion. The ability to express yourself clearly and confidently is a real turn on. But interrupting your date and not allowing them to complete their thoughts or hogging the conversation is just rude. It’s perfectly ok not to know about something. In fact, a willingness to listen is a huge plus.

Turn-off 4: “Poor Me” Constantly complaining about people or situations is a huge turn-off. It just translates into your inability to take responsibility for your life. If there is a challenge that you have, it’s always better to discuss it without getting emotional or whiny. Remember it is a date not a therapy session.

Turn-off 5: “Me, myself & I” Obviously, you would like your date to know all your wonderful qualities. Why the rush? These revelations are more meaningful when shared in small doses. Talking about yourself frequently is a major turn off. Getting to know each other is a two-way street. You should listen patiently (even when you are bursting to share) when your date is telling you something about them self.

Turn-off 6: “Dirty Harry” Personal hygiene and grooming is super important. A grunge look works only if your clothes are clean and you are not accompanied by some foul B.O. Your objective here is to get close to your date, so take some effort. Taking care of yourself shows that you respect them and yourself.

Turn-off 7 :“I forgot” Any signs of forgetfulness can indicate to your date that you may not be dependable. Take the effort to remember not only what is important to you but also what things are important to them. Remembering even the smallest thing is a way of showing that you seriously care.

Turn-off 8: “The Judge” Try not to gossip about others or judge someone’s behavior when you are with your date. Jumping onto a high horse and being self-righteous is guaranteed to make your date uncomfortable because they know that you will be judging them too.

Turn-off 9 — “Liar Liar Pants on Fire” This is by far the WORST turn-off. Honesty is the foundation of a relationship. If the facts you have mentioned about yourself do not add up in the mind of your date, they will start to have doubts about your integrity. From there, it is a short path to “the end”. Nobody is perfect. Be truthful about yourself always. In the long run it is in your best interest.

Hope these tips help you to make a great impression and find your mate!

9 Dating turnoffs: Things you should avoid was originally published in andwemet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.