50 years of togetherness & counting

50 years of togetherness & counting

Chalk and cheese. Tom and Jerry. Poles apart in personality, nature, likes and dislikes. And that can’t be expressed enough. Yet here’s a couple who stuck together in a Fevicol ka jod and stood by each other in a marriage spanning over half a decade! Now that’s a milestone by any benchmark.

Love struck them decades ago cutting across families hailing from diverse background and even more diverse mindset. The love marriage had its fair share of convincing people and the society that this relationship is for keeps. Guess that laid a strong foundation to make it work and the steely resolve continued through a bumpy ride running into many a rough weather.

Spend a day with them and the first thing which strikes you is how fiercely protective they are about each other. They can argue the entire day but dare you try to take one’s side by blaming the other. Get ready to be pounced by actually the one you were siding with! Such is their blind loyalty towards each other. The second thing which comes across very strongly is how much they care for each other. Just the simple classic timeless act of caring for each other. Through gestures big and small. In tangible and intangible ways. Be it waiting on each other for meals of the day, despite old age, remembering each other’s medicines and ensuring the other doesn’t miss it, walking the mile to get the day’s newspaper for the other or serving each other bed tea. And yes, these all acts of love are gender agnostic. Contrary to what we see in many marriages of yesteryears. That’s the third unique thing which takes you by a pleasant surprise.

So what does this couple teach us about relationships and marriage? Nothing heavy or preachy. Instead very relatable and adaptable.

· Marriage is for a long haul and begins with the belief that it takes two to make it work

· It is a partnership that needs constant nurturing and in return, offers a companionship for life. In sickness and health

· Life will ride on waves of adversities and challenges. Be it man-made or at hands of fate. What can stand steadfast is the bond that can weather many a storms. A bond of togetherness

· There is a no perfect formula for marriage. Just some amount of hard work and lots of tender love and care. In return you will be spoilt pampered too.

In short, a long term committed relationship requires Patience, Respect and Trust which is work-in-progress throughout the relationship journey, there are no shortcuts, is what I have often heard this couple tell me and to those who come to them for relationship advice.

2019 marked the golden jubilee of their marriage. No fanfare. No glitz. They celebrated doing what they have been doing all their married lives. Taking care of each other.

Mrs Amina and Mr. Kaizar Badshah so well epitomize the adage, “Relationships are not complicated. You take care of me. I take care of you. End of story”

The daughter-in-law of Mr and Mrs Badshah, also a friend of andwemet has shared this story to celebrate her in-laws. Thank you @priyabadshah making us believe in relationships.

50 years of togetherness and counting  was originally published in andwemet on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.