New to dating: 3 Tips on having ‘are we exclusive’ conversation

Ready to ask 'are we exclusive'? Practice, meet in person, and ask gently for clarity on your budding relationship. Discover these vital tips.

New to dating: 3 Tips on having ‘are we exclusive’ conversation

You and your romantic interest have been spending time together, it’s been a week or 3 months of doing activities and constant texting, knowing each other. Most likely you have met each other’s friends and maybe family members too. You are making future plans to see shows, travel etc. In all of this you are not sure if you are the only person they are interested in or if you are in an exclusive relationship. You would not know till you have a conversation. Yes, can be overwhelming to have the “are we exclusive” talk. But it’s a necessary one if you want to clarify where you stand and prevent any confusion or heartbreak

Here are 3 tips on how to ease yourself to having the conversation:

Practice the conversation you would have: Most likely your brain is buzzed with you overthinking so writing down your thoughts will help you with a little preparation. Once you have done so, its ok to prepare by practicing the conversation beforehand. Writing down your thoughts and outlining your feelings will give you clarity when you bring up the topic.

This conversation needs to happen in-person: While it can be tempting to have this conversation over text or phone, it's important to remember that this conversation has to happen in person. Not only does doing so eliminate the potential for miscommunication that can occur in written messages, but it also allows both to understand each other's feelings and see each other's body language which is the key here.

The conversation, how to bring it up: While some people may have no problem being direct, others may feel uncomfortable bringing up the conversation. Although some humor can be helpful, it's important to approach this conversation with a level of seriousness to get the answers you need. It is a big question to ask, and it can bring anxiety and feeling of uncertainty. So here are are some questions you can ask to ease into the conversation. For example, you can ask if they're seeing others along with you, or if they're intimate with anyone else. You can also express your wishes to understand where the relationship is going, and if they're on the same page. These kinds of questions might feel uncomfortable, but getting answers can give you the insight to decide if you want to invest further in this relationship. And who knows – the possible partner might be just as eager to make things exclusive as you are!

Note: Keep in mind that being exclusive does not necessarily mean you are in a committed relationship, but it is a significant step towards it. Remember, this conversation is not about forcing your partner to commit; it's about setting healthy boundaries and understanding where you stand.

Navigating a new relationship can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, especially when it comes to having "the talk" about exclusivity. While all may have been going great, it's important to recognise that the outcome of this conversation may not always be what we hope for. So be prepared to be ghosted post this conversation. If this happens, give them time, you can experience 2 outcomes

(a)   some may need time in comprehending that they too have been enjoying the time spent with you

(b)  some they may realise both your relationship goals do not align and may continue to ghost.

The latter works well as you get clarity and you know where to focus your energies..  In either case, just be patient and don't panic – it may just be a matter of time before you get the clarity you need.

And if it does not work out, you know you have andwemet always rooting you to find the person you deserve.